Where did five years go? (Part I)

Tomorrow I am departing on a pilgrimage to my alma mater for my five year reunion. It will truly be an epic journey, involving a plane flight and several hours in my parents' car to reach my destination.

I have long imagined what this weekend will be like. For one thing, it's the last reunion where it will be ok to attend without a significant other. I have a feeling at the ten year, if you aren't married or at least dating someone you will be a social pariah. But there are many classmates of mine who are married, some even with children (a special note went out about day care arrangements ... shudder). I speculated with my friend and classmate, M, as to how many marriages will break up after this weekend when one spouse realizes that the other spouse has not changed since college. One can only hope that their wedding reception did not serve Natty Light ... in plastic cups ... on a pong table.

But in all seriousness I'm very excited to return to the scene of my past shenanigans, escapades and adventures. Fortunately the number of attendees who I would prefer to avoid is at a minimum and no ex-boyfriends will be present.

On another somewhat related note, I just received a call from my best childhood friend, with whom I haven't spoken in months. That's the way we are though -- we can go for almost six months without contact and then talk for an hour and a half and it's like nothing is different. I think I last heard from her around Valentine's Day, maybe more recently. Doesn't matter. But in line with the reunion theme of catching up with old friends, the timing of her call could not have been more appropriate. In Girl Scouts we used to sing this lame song about making new friends and keeping the old because "one is silver and the other is gold." I never sorted out which was which (presumably the old friends were gold? This song must have pre-dated platinum. I would rather be platinum, or at the very least, white gold) but it comes to mind tonight although our lives have diverged and criss-crossed we still really are the best of friends.

I've known this girl since I was eight years old ... we traveled Europe for together for three weeks, buy each other stupid presents that have meaning only to us, meet on occasion at our old diner and eat grilled cheese sandwiches and laugh until we can't breathe. What amazes me most is that she knows everything about me, has for years, is essentially a depository of the last two decades of secrets ... and she is still willing to be my friend. I'm even luckier because I have several other friendships that can be described in the very same way. (Shout out, S!!!)

Just a reminder that you need to hold on to those who have known you longest ... not to the exclusion of new friends, but just don't let go of what you have. Maybe this weekend I'll reclaim a couple people who I misplaced along the way.

Sorry to leave with a cliffhanger ending, but Part II will follow on Monday or Tuesday....

For the Record

Ok -- I have to admit that I have completely overreacted.

There, I said it. I'm a little nuts.

Ok, a LOT nuts.

FB called. And we had a great, very cute conversation.

I'll shut up now.

P.S. in a slightly roundabout qualified way he said he misses seeing me (and "everyone" but he singled me out).

Incommunicado

Does it count as drinking alone if you drink while you're talking to someone on the phone, but physically alone?

Last night I cracked open a bottle of wine and had two glasses while on a lengthy phone call with my friend A, who recently moved from Miami. We are similarly situated at the moment: we are both waiting for phone calls from boys.

I know this is pathetic. I do. And I don't understand why you have to play games, but I understand that they must be played. It's total bullshit and I'm tired of it. The first woman to play coy and hard-to-get should be shot, except no doubt she's long dead. But screw her for making the rest of us have to do the same to attract men. I suspect it might have been Cleopatra. And it worked -- she had Julius Caesar and Mark Antony sweating her. Maybe that's why I chose to go as Cleopatra for Halloween last year; however, the only guy sweating me was dressed as a cowboy and when he found out I'm not Jewish he walked away.

So I'm trying to backtrack from laying my cards on the table. Clearly this won't work, but I've got to try something. There has to be a fine line between being supportive and helpful and not being too available. A and I made a pact that the next time we want to call either of our guys, that we should just call each other instead. We instituted a joint ban on initiation of communication. I feel like there should have been a task force or sub-committee involved to hammer out the details and punishments (for example, who adjudicates violations of the communication initiation ban? Do we end up in front of the ICJ? Circuit court? The Hague?).

As I cannot adequately police myself, and A is too far away to police me (and vice-versa), I suspect the ban will be broken at some point. Last night as I stumbled into bed and listened to a Nico album while falling asleep, I felt a little hopeless. I'll admit it.

This morning when I awoke (without a headache, for once), I feel like I've regained a little dignity. My resolve is strengthened. Because although I like this guy (I mean really really like him) I think I'm finally listening to the advice I've heard from every single one of my friends: this is out of my hands.

I can't do anything more. So I guess I better study.

Three Cheers for Normalcy.

Man, I am tired. I mean emotionally, mentally, and physically drained.

What a month, right? First graduation, then moving (the moving continues, alas! how the moving continues), then studying for the bar. Then meeting a boy. Then flipping out over the boy being injured. And now quiet again. Just me, the books, and the boxes of shit I should probably throw away.

Today I started throwing things out on the theory that if I have been living in my new apartment for two weeks and didn't need it, I probably don't need it generally. This applied to things like a broken fan from my pre-central air conditioning days. But my toaster just hasn't been used out of mere circumstance. I've also realized that I need a tea kettle, among other things.

Good God, this post is dull.

But my day has been dull. Had breakfast with a friend, loaded up my car with more of my shit, came back and studied, watched the Yankees beat the Cardinals, and ate and ate and ate. I tried to hit Tasti-D, it's a blessing it was closed inexplicably at 10 pm on a Saturday night.

But I'll tell you what -- compared to the dreadful excitement of this week, I'll take dull anytime if it means no hospitals and no tears. That's probably why today seems so boring -- compared to what else has happened recently, today was obscenely normal. In the aftermath of FB's injury I had forgotten that this is what my life is usually like.

So three cheers for normalcy and calm. No doubt it won't last long so I'll just enjoy it for now.