Regression

My sister says I've started to act like a 22 year old, less than a month shy of my 27th birthday. I've been engaging in various manners of irresponsible behavior including staying out until 4 am both nights this weekend and of late, abusing various substances in excess. But when power outages kept my office closed last week, what else was I supposed to do?

I was a terribly responsible 22 year old. Didn't drink too much, didn't smoke, didn't stay out late all the time, etc etc etc. In short, I was fucking lame. I did a pretty poor job of being 22. So maybe I'm trying to make up for it now.

I have not engaged in a regressive backlash of this magnitude for several years. Then, as now, I suspect it was triggered by the unwanted dissolution of what I perceived to be a great relationship. Boyfriends tend to keep me out of trouble. Alone, or rather, with my single girlfriends, I tend to get into more trouble than I ordinarily might find.

Although my sister seems to think this behavior is foolish, at best, I frankly find it refreshing. I am constantly amazed at my capacity for change as I've aged. I won't say I was a puritanical 22 year old, but I've certainly become more open-minded in the intervening years. To paraphrase something an ex said about himself, right now I am the most interesting and have the most to give than in any other point in my life.

A female co-worker and I discussed a recent Maureen Dowd piece in The New York Times Sunday Magazine. The article was about the problems smart women have finding mates. Well, no shit. But my co-worker's take was supremely more optimistic than Ms. Dowd's -- she explained that we must look inside ourselves to become the best person we can be, so that when the "right" guy comes along we'll be ready for them. I'm not sure I entirely agree with her. But if I continue to improve with age, then maybe my Prince Charming will come galloping along.