How's Your Social Life?

As my boss was leaving work today, he stopped at the threshold of my office and asked me, "How's your social life?"

Taken aback, I kind of chuckled and replied, "Not great."

Then I started to backtrack and say that my social life is actually OK, but my boss said, "It seems like you have been happy again lately. Maybe it's just the start of baseball season."

Again, I chuckled and agreed. The start of another season for my beloved Yankees has helped to lift my spirits. But clearl y that's not it. I've decidedly been in a funk the past few weeks, particularly since I found out about B in D.C. and the new girlfriend. But the funk started before that, weeks ago, at least since the middle of March, and my boss has noticed that maybe I've emerged from the other side.

But this conversation has been bothering me all evening. My social life really isn't bad. It's just that when it isn't going well (read, when boys aren't doing what I want them to do), it seems awful. But looking at the last week:

• I went to New York;
• Saw a bunch of friends;
• Met a guy, J, who is promising but for the fact that he lives in NYC;
• Went to a brand new club and saw three bands;
• Threw a brunch for three friends;
• Had dinner with two different friends Monday night;
• Dinner with another friend Tuesday night;
• Played softball Thursday night;
• Declined to answer several phone calls from a guy I went on a date with the week before;
• Went to hear David Sedaris read his stories on Friday night;
• Went sea kayaking Saturday;
• Went to church and a brunch on Sunday;
• And J called from New York.

There's one week in my life. Granted, a particularly busy week, but a single week nonetheless.

So why did I reply that my social life is "not great"?

Maybe it's the guy in D.C. who has his new girlfriend who may or may not be better than me. Maybe I'm lonely. Maybe it's because my English ex-boyfriend phoned this afternoon and I missed him the second I heard his voice, though I haven't seen him in nearly three years.

This is one of those things I'm not going to figure out any time ever. Things are actually back on the upswing again. Or maybe I've stopped wallowing.

Too many maybes, too few answers.

Maybe there are not answers.

Oops.