My Sister Was Right

Bonus day! I'm backlogged on things to post about since my computer died two weeks ago and my new one just arrived. It's been a huge impediment not to have internet access at home, but I've survived and am OK, with a few minor complaints.

Lack of internet access, in fact, may have been a blessing. Although I've extolled the virtues of internet stalking in the past, I think my days surfing Friendster may be done.

Last Sunday I went to work and logged onto e-mail. Literally, my main purpose in going to the office was the internet access. I made the usual rounds, checked my four e-mail accounts, regular blogs, Pitchfork, New York Times, etc. I logged onto Friendster and was surprised to see that my D.C. boy had updated his profile. If you will recall, we spent a great weekend together over St. Patrick's Day. He talked about moving here, asked what we were to do about our situation, etc. (See, "It's SO Not Over" for details). I really thought this last visit was different and that things might be headed for a good resolution. So imagine my surprise to find that he changed his relationship status to "In a Relationship", less than a month after he had been sharing my bed and telling me he wanted to make me happy.

I lost it, a little bit. I got confirmation from our mutual friend. I considered calling him and screaming, blocking him from viewing my Friendster profile, or any number of extreme solutions. Because I hate looking crazy, I opted for the simplest choice and deleted his phone number for what is probably the sixth or seventh time.

Our mutual friend told me that he hadn't lied to me that weekend. And thinks he was sincere when he said if he lived here he would date me in a second. But the problem, I learned, is that he desires convenience above all else. And at this point in time, I am highly inconvenient. This guy moves to a new city and gets a new girlfriend almost immediately because apparently he is incapable of being alone.

He is weak. And I despise weakness.

This latest development in the ongoing saga may be the last. He has disappointed me more times than I can count. He made me no promises, to be sure -- but he intimated many things. And as usual, I read into those intimations what I wanted, rather than seeing what was infront of my face. When he asked if I believed that timing is everything, I didn't realize he was creating his own rabbit hole down which to escape. To be sure, the timing has been off since the day I met him. It will probably never be right. And even if it is right one day, I don't know if I could ever trust him completely and believe that he wouldn't just move once again and leave me in the dust.

I hate to admit it, but my sister was right. When she met him, she saw trouble. I wish I had seen that the day I met him, and saved myself several years of agony.