Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Rollercoaster of Love

It's been a while since I've posted and I'm sure that if I do have any faithful readers, they are left in suspense. Whatever happened to that guy from Easter? Did Stinger fall in love? Run off and elope? Did he agree with BF that she talks too much and kill her in her sleep?

Of course, the answer is none of the above. Me, fall in love? Ha!

I've been on perhaps the lamest relationship rollercoaster I've ever experienced. Every week for the last three months I have flip-flopped on how I have felt about him, largely because he has behaved differently every week. Even the highs and lows have been half-assed. It's been confusing. At first I assumed we were dating. Then just sleeping together. Then we had an oddly deep e-mail conversation in which it sounded like he cared about me more than I initially thought. So I started to treat him like he cared about me as much as it sounded like and now he has backed off. Like seriously backed off. As in total radio silence since Saturday afternoon, when I called him and he blew me off.

Even the sex isn't hot anymore. And at the outset I did not foresee that EVER becoming a problem.

I was concerned about this on Monday. And by Tuesday when I still hadn't heard anything, I broke down and e-mailed him. He responded and I never replied. Since then I haven't particularly cared about the situation, but I want some closure. The problem is that I'm too ambivalent about the situation to end it. Maybe he's just doing the three month freak out and will disappear into thin air and I can forget all about him.

It's been brought to my attention by several friends that he is not what I want. I don't need to be the center of someone's universe, but I should hope that I would rank higher in importance than the gym.

So, whatever. Another one bites the dust. Onto the next.

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