Somebody Kill Me Please

Ok, took the first practice exam yesterday for the bar and I not only failed, but failed miserably.

MISERABLY.

It was a great kick in the ass to make me realize I seriously need to get my head in the game. But on the other hand, I feel like I want to throw up and cry, though I suspect that doing both at once would prove to be very unsavory.

Going down the checklist of emotions I've been told I'm supposed to have at this point, I find that all finally apply:
Overwhelmed? Check.
Nauseous? Check.
Loss of appetite? Check. (this might be the most disturbing to me at present because ordinarily I'm always hungry).
Tearful? Check.
Want to hit something with a baseball bat? Check.
Want to scream as loud as possible? Check.
Contemplating a career as a stripper, even if means getting implants and lipo rather than going through with this another second? Check, check, check.

Adam Sandler said it best through song in "The Wedding Singer": Somebody kill me please.

NOTE: this is not a serious solicitation for murder-for-hire.

Yes, I know I've lost it. It'll get worse in the ensuing madness.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH