Comfort & Passion

Apologies to my three faithful readers for the long lag between posts. It's largely the fault of the bar exam. But since my television broke last week and I lack the funds to acquire a new one, the internet (and more specifically, this blog) may become my primary outlet for relaxation.

Things with are going well with the boy ... really quite happy with it yet at the back of my mind waiting for it all to go to shit ... I know it's self-defeating, but it's my way. Just as I can't tell a story in a linear fashion without all manner of digressions and footnotes, I cannot be involved in a relationship without fear of being dumped.

But I am comfortable with him, and I think him with me ... Sunday morning we were talking about the relationship of my friends, who appear to like each other almost because they think they should. They are both "good on paper" as far the other is concerned. The boy verbalized a perfect description of them: they lack passion. They embody pure relationship comfort and routine.

I later mused on the tumultuous relationship of another pair of friends, who are the personification of passion. They yell, scream, argue, laugh and fuck. But I'm not sure they have ever experienced a moment of unadulterated comfort in their time together. Part of it is the way they are as individuals - they are very passionate people. But something about them in synergy makes the passion boil over and get a little too intense a lot of the time.

I realize this sounds like a modern-day Goldilocks and the Three Bears: one relationship is too hot, the other too cold. Just like Goldilocks, what I'm looking for is just right: comfort, in the sense of support, companionship, and understanding; passion, in the sense of a deep, uncontrollable attraction and a strong desire to be together. I think if you have both of those, you may have the formula for love.

I never quite thought of things in these terms before this weekend. But I think it's a good sign that the boy can express what I mean but can't find the words to say.

Maybe he's just right.